Sorry people!

So I'm still going to pretend people read this blog. Anyway, I've been away for well over a month.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A LOOOOONG POST PEOPLE

Recently it's been because I'm always super busy...a few weeks ago it was because I was on a horrific trip in the states. Dial up internet people. I seriously thought that shit was extinct. Anyway I'm going to tell you all a story. Now of course, no one reads this but I DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW :D

Kay so here's a legend for you all:
P = an aunt
B = an uncle
M = another uncle
D1 = a bitch
D2 = an asshole
G1 = 'gramma'
G2 = 'grampa'

So I showed up in the states on oooh...august 29? That was fine. So B and I show up, and P/M aren't home yet. They're still with the G's. Whatever, not so bad. They had car trouble apparently, and were stuck somewhere about 8 hours away. Cool, fine.

Then I'm laying in the bed and whatnot, just chilling. Happy to be out of the car finally. And guess what? FIFTEEN [not a word of a lie, friends] FIFTEEN FRIGGEN FLEAS ON MY LEG!

Turns out P/M didn't tell us they had a 'little bit' of a flea problem.

So they get back finally, and I'm all 'cool'. I don't have my laptop working, cause the cord is broken - I had been on P's computer, hooking up the wireless router B had bought her.

The day after they get home, I ask if I can use her computer. She goes "oh sure". So I use it, and then she's all "OMG YOU CAN'T GO ON THOSE WEBSITES! THEY WILL GIVE ME VIRUSES!"

Her Godson shows up, and she lets him go on the exact same websites that I had SPECIFICALLY been told not to use. Fine. Whatever. I brush it off.

So then my friend from Ohio comes over, cause I've never met her in real life. Yeah, I'm a loser like that. We're chilling one day, and the adults decide to go out. M says, jokingly, "While we're gone, do the laundry, wash the windows, sweep the floor..."

D1 adds in "Oh and do the dishes, the vacuuming..."

Turns out, D1 wasn't joking. When they got back, my friend and I got cussed out. Okay, I don't mind having to do the dishes. I mean, I should contribute too.

However, I've been waiting FOUR YEARS, to meet this friend. So F*** you if you think I'm going to waste my time with her doing your goddamn chores you lazy w****.

So they keep trying to get my friend and I to do stuff, but we don't do it. So on the day of their 'park picnic' [did I mention my hick family lives in a trailer park? Not saying all people who live in trailer parks are hicks!! these people are hicks, and they do live in a trailer park] I twist my ankle.

Do I get any sympathy? No. I mean, it's only the ankle that has a broken toe. So instead of telling me to sit down they keep sending me to their house thingie to fetch stuff for them. I suck it up and do it.

Until I get stung in the other foot by a wasp. Then I'm all "screw that". My friend leaves after three days, and then I'm stuck there alone.

D1 and D2 always sleep with their bedroom door closed. Okay, I have to add in that I only used P's computer to do ONE THING that day. And that was read emails that have NO attachments and are over a year old. So that night, D1 and D2 go to bed. I'm on the laptop, reading emails. Then D2 comes out of the room and says "Either move that computer or get off of it, the lights bugging me."

The ONE night they don't close the door. That day, P had bought my airplane ticket home online. After looking at several different sites...so the next day, she finds two trojans on her laptop and instantly yells at me. Even though she had been on stuff that she has to give her credit card number to. Yeah, okay bitch.

So after a super crappy two weeks there I have to go stay with G1 and G2. B has left by that time, so I'm all alone in this nasty house.

We get to my G1 and G2's house, and guess what they got? FLEAS. And dial up internet. But their flea infestation is soo much worse than P/Ms. All three of their cats have them -0h and their cats are lap cats. Lap cats in the sense that if you don't let them on your lap, they attack you. My right hand is actually scarred because of this :)

G2 leaves the day after we get back to his house, and leaves me with G1. Who I find out is an alcoholic. Who likes making me drive with her.

Then I find mice in the house.

Then I find these big black beetles that bare a resemblence to roaches. F***ING WONDERFUL EH?!?!?!

So the day after we get to her house, G1 makes pork chops. 12 of them. For two people. The day I left -seven days later- they're still in the fridge. Disgusting no?

She didn't cook anymore after that, so I didn't really eat for a week. Why didn't I cook for myself?

There was no food in the house...why didn't I go to the store, you ask? It was five miles away.

Coming back to my nasty, dirty apartment building felt like going home to a four star hotel. Seriously. That's how bad that trip sucked.

Aaaand that's why I wasn't blogging!!

PITY ME D:

Afternote:

Never going there again, I swear to God. I am just staying in my little dirty city for the rest of my life.